Unfortunately, marital affairs are nothing new. But the recent headlines regarding the Ashley Madison scandal have been a real eye-opener as to just how prevalent they really are.
As this story continues to unfold, many married individuals are concerned. Even if they don’t suspect their spouse at the moment, they wonder if it could happen to them in the future and whether they’d ever find out.
Instead of living in fear, it may be more beneficial to focus on what leads married individuals to stray in the first place, and what can be done to prevent it.
Who would cheat?
The first thing to consider is the type of people that cheat. While society tends to paint a pretty clear picture of what most believe is “the cheating type”, the truth is that cheaters come from all walks of life. Race or religion don’t seem to matter, and neither do wealth or social status. And, while this should be obvious, it isn’t only men that cheat.
What went wrong?
Understanding that it could in fact happen to anyone, what could go so terribly wrong in a marriage that one person would risk everything to be with someone else?
All couples fight at one point or another, so having a fight isn’t necessarily a red flag that your spouse is having an affair. But constant arguing can become a habit that could turn into a bigger problem.
No one likes the stress of arguing, but if your spouse is consistently on edge because they’re never sure when you’ll fly off the handle, they may seek the attention of someone with more similar views and a calmer demeanor.
If you’ve noticed an increase in level of bickering between you and your spouse, be open and honest about your concerns. But try not to bring it up in the heat of an argument.
Taking a break to cool off is a great way to avoid a fight. But be sure to resolve the disagreement once tempers have settled. It’s also important to practice forgiveness, as there will likely be days when you are the one seeking it.
Don’t compare to see who measures up
In today’s world, hectic daily schedules can leave couples feeling as though their partner doesn’t appreciate all that they do. Regardless of whether or not it’s true, feeling underappreciated could easily allow your spouse to be swayed toward cheating. The draw of someone who thinks everything they do is amazing can be overwhelming for some.
It’s important to fill each other in on your day to day, but instead of comparing, make sure you are listening. Strong couples pitch in and help each other out when things get hectic, but it’s impossible to know then this is if you’re too busy keeping score.
Perhaps you have more outside interests than your partner, or maybe your work schedule means you miss dinner at least a few times each week.
If you’re always on the go, you’re not really there for your partner. Although you shouldn’t lose your own identity, make sure you carve out time for your significant other.
While it’s true that many people do have affairs, with a little bit of work the temptation can be mitigated.
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